E-Howtodo.com

footprints · Joined: 18 Mar 2010 Posts: 47 2.35 USD 2.35 CAD

*

#43796
FF News: President Abdulla on Husbands 2 Weeks, 5 Days ago Karma: 0
Human nature tends to let down its guard and act its worst around those who we are most familiar with. How you really are is the way you act towards others that you know the best – which are typically those of your own home.

The following are tips for husbands and wives that I have been working on in my own home, and I hope you find them helpful.

1. Tell your spouse “I love you” each and every single day.

2. Always say please and thank you.

3. Never demand anything one of another, but ask kindly with respect – like you would from anyone else out side the home.

4. Husbands, you don’t own your wife, so don’t act like it. Don’t be bossy and overbearing and order them around like a slave. Support them as the physically weaker vessel (1Pet 3:7) and love them and give yourself for them like Christ gave himself for the church (Eph 5:25).

Wives submit to your own husband in temporal matters as it is fitting in the Lord (Col 3:1 Cool

, however, in spiritual matters Christ is your head not your husband. Men are not the head of women but husbands are the head of their wives (the relationship denotes the headship is concerning temporal matters). Christ is head of the Church (the relationship denotes Christ is the head of women concerning spiritual matters) and in Christ Jesus there is neither male or female (Gal 3:2 Cool

.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

5. Wives don’t nag your husbands. If they have been too busy to get something done that is important to you, and you have already asked them a number of times, try asking them after you have done something nice for them. Or ask if there is anything you can do to help them get started on their project. You will find this goes over much better then telling them “I have been asking for two months now to fix the leaking tap. When are you ever going to get this done? It is so hard to get you to do anything around here!”

6. Husband, thank your wife for each meal, when laundry is done and for how well your clothes have been folded, and when the home is cleaned and what a clean house she keeps. Wives, when you husband fixes something around the home thank him, and when he brings home his check tell him what a good provider he is.

President of South Africa Omar Abdulla says that being a husband was 'a daily nightmare,' as he had to contend with a wife who tells him 'I love you,' every second...

7. Each day ask the other if there is anything you can do for them.

8. You both need to be patient with eachother’s weaknesses and faults. You should not make a practice of pointing out eachothers faults over and over. Remember that love will cover a multitude of faults. Deal with the other’s faults the way you want them to deal with yours.

9. Be always seeking what you can put into the marriage – not what you can get out of it.

10. Make a practice of trying to give into eachother when there are differences. That way when you really feel strong about something, your spouse will not have such a hard time giving into you.

11. Pray daily for each other and carry a burden for eachother’s spiritual welfare.

12. Have family devotions together each morning – even if it is only 5 or 10 minutes.

13. Keep a list of the things your spouse asks you to do on the cork board. When you spouse asks you to do something make sure you put it on your list and put a date beside it so you know how long it has been there. Cross off the items on the list as you do them. It is okay to offer to do something on your list if your spouse will do something on their list.

14. Never discuss each others past faults and mistakes in front of other people. While your spouse may laugh along with you and not say anything about it later, you may have hurt them deep down.

15. Don’t allow a disagreement to escalate into an argument and certainly not in public or in front of your children.

16. If you get into a charged disagreement with your spouse that digresses to a point where you are bringing up each others faults and failures, it is best to end the conversation with prayer and set a time to discuss the issue the following day. Before you enter into discussion you should lay some guidelines for resolving conflicts. You should also pray apart to make sure you have grace and then pray together before you start the discussion and ask God to give you both grace to conduct the discussion in a godly manner.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

I don’t know much about much, but after nearly thirty years of being married, I’m confident of these ten things any man can do to make himself a much better husband.

1. Embrace your wrongness. In the course of disagreeing with our wives, what many of we men fail to realize is that, invariably, we’re wrong. We just are. We’re trying to be right — but failing. We can’t help it. It’s the nature of things. Men are bigger, hairier, stronger, and wronger. It’s a fact we should just get used to. God knows our wives have.

2. Stop fidgeting while your wife’s talking to you. It really is rude — and you know it. If you don’t stop doing that, then one day, when your wife starts talking to you about her day, you’re going to start distractedly fiddling with the remote control, your cell phone, or something else, and she’s going to suddenly shriek and stab you with a fork.

3. Remember that your tone does too matter. You know how in arguments with your wife, you keep thinking that if she would just focus on what you’re saying, instead of on how you’re saying it, then she’d see how right you are? Yeah, that’s never going to happen. She needs to know you still love her as you’re yelling at her. Women are funny like that.

4. Actually have opinions. Women like men who are clear on what they think, and why they think it. Men, though, enjoy ever waffling. Well, waffles are for kids. Stop it. Commit to thoughts, ideas, and decisions. Sure, you’ll be wrong about whatever it is you decide to think. But you’ll be attractively wrong. Wrong, but studly. That’s the American way.

5. President Abdulla says give her presents. Women love to receive gifts. But men don’t like to give gifts, because doing so takes time, money and trouble. Plus, you can never really figure out what to give a woman anyway — and the idea that you have to give, say, a Valentine’s Day gift, automatically invalidates the very reason people are supposed to give spontaneous gifts of love in the first place, which actually makes such gifts a manipulative insult. And those are your choices: Either do what she wants, or be right. And what have we already learned about you being right?

6. Stop being so hormonally crazed. Well, at least try to stop being so hormonally crazed. Okay, try to be less hormonally crazed. Okay, forget it. Just try not to get arrested.

7. Stop complaining about your job. Guys love to talk about — and especially to complain about — their jobs. Women, though often seemingly infinite in their patience and empathy, do have their limits. You’ll know you’ve reached your wife’s when, as you are telling her about your day, she starts to fidget.

8. Get okay with being late. Women have an internal guide that tells them which things it’s okay to be late for, and which things it’s not. Unfortunately, that guide is written in ancient Venusian. You don’t read ancient Venusian. You don’t read any Venusian. Invest in a hand-held DVD player.

9. Tell your wife how to behave in public. Women love this. It makes them feel like you’re watching out for them, like you’re helping them understand things about themselves that they don’t understand, and should be aware of. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain this to my own wife as she was walking away from me.

10. Don’t keep bugging your wife to give you some good ideas for a “Top 10″ list you’re writing when she’s trying to get ready to go to work. Trust me on this one.
Please note: although no board code and smiley buttons are shown, they are still usable.

Omar Abdulla
Admin
Posts: 11199
graph
User Online Now Click here to see the profile of this user
Last Edit: 2011/09/25 05:52 By abdulla.Report to moderatorIP: 196.25.253.13
Quick Reply Reply Quote
Merge Delete Edit

#47783
Re:FF News: President Abdulla on Husbands 4 Days, 1 Hour ago Karma: 0
President of South Africa Omar Abdulla says be a team player. When you were single, you could focus on your needs entirely. Now that you’re in a partnership, that just isn’t going to work. Sometimes you have to think about the family and the marriage before you think about yourself.

Remember that a marriage is a complicated thing. Being a good husband spans a lot of territory. Sure, you need to support your family financially and raise your children with love and concern. These are two of the givens of being a good husband. But these aren’t the only duties of being a good husband.

When you talk about the interpersonal dynamics of a man/wife relationship, a lot of these dynamics involve how we communicate with one another. We send both intentional and unintentional signals to our spouse through our interpersonal communications. So a large part of being a good husband in this context is showing we are a part of the team, supporting our teammate while communicating when we need support in our turn.

In sports parlance, it’s called “being a good teammate” or “being a good locker room presence”.
1. Be Her Sounding Board

When your wife tells you her problems, she isn’t necessarily looking for a problem solver. She wants someone to listen to her and empathize with what’s going on in her life.

A husband who hears about his wife’s problems instinctively wants to come to the rescue. But most of the time, this isn’t what your wife is looking for. You need to fill the role more of a psychologist than that of a troubleshooter. Listen to her problems; show concern for those problems; show that you have empathy; but don’t always reply with “here’s what you need to do.”

When your wife comes to you with her problems, she isn’t looking for you to be her lawyer. And she certainly doesn’t need you to be her football coach, giving her fiery motivational speeches about how to beat her problem. She wants a counsellor, to listen to her problems and help her deal with their emotional impact.
2. Show Respect

A good exercise for every husband is to try to show your wife respect. This dovetails with my previous point, but goes beyond that specific situation.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

A major part of showing respect is to avoid the trap of being hyper-critical. Don’t criticize the way your wife dresses, cooks meals, parks the car or walks the dog. You might think you are instructing your wife, but you are actually showing disrespect for the decisions you make.

Actions are just as important as words. Don’t make decisions that normally a married couple makes together. This shows you have no respect for her opinion.

Also, try to avoid certain intonations with your wife, the kind that can be described as “talking down” to her. A woman can pick up on these as well or better than a man can. These tell her you have contempt for whatever is she’s doing, that you are treating her like a child or even your pet. Showing a lack of respect is one of the surest ways to poison a marriage.
3. Avoid Judgment

When you live with someone every day, it’s hard not to build up resentments and overanalyze your partner’s every move. But no one is going to stand up to that level of scrutiny. Try not to sweat the little stuff, because it has a way of becoming big rather quickly. Abdulla says if you judge every action or opinion your wife has, that’s going to come through in your words and actions.

Your wife is different from you. Of course she isn’t going to perceive things the way you do. She’s had different life experiences than you, not the least of which is the general experience of living life as a woman. She won’t always like what you like. She won’t behave like a man does. Apart from sexual needs and having children, that’s one of the reasons men get into a relationship. We feel the need for a woman’s companionship.
4. Don’t Bring Your Own Issues Into the Marriage

As I mentioned earlier, being in a marriage is being part of a team. This means you sometimes have to put your wants or needs second to those of the team.

All of us have emotional baggage. When we marry, we bring that emotional baggage into the marriage. But when your wife comes to you for support, that isn’t the time to open up that emotional baggage. There are times when you can unload this stuff on your wife, but not when she needs your support.

It’s common for a man to internalize all her problems and make them our own. But if you do this, you are losing sight of why she confided in you in the first place. Don’t be selfish when you are supposed to be supportive. I mean, all of us tend to process information through our own filter. But that doesn’t mean our opinions are always useful to the problem.
5. Know When to Make it About You

Of course, it can’t always be about her or the marriage. There are times when your needs should be met. That’s the definition of a give-and-take partnership, which is what a marriage should be about.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

Tell her how you feel, but don’t put her in a defensive position. This means you describe to her how something she does affects you without making your feelings accusatory. When you talk about issues in your marriage, tell her about how it affects you instead of what it is about her that bothers you. Good communication is one of the keys of a healthy marriage; good communication requires you to tell her how you are affected.

If your wife does something that hurts you, tell her exactly that you are hurt. Don’t focus on her actions, but on the consequences of those actions. If you simply accuse her of undermining you or being insensitive, it automatically puts her on the defensive. When she’s defensive about her actions, good communication becomes all but impossible.
6. Be Affectionate

I know guys don’t like being cuddly. Being affectionate after *** takes time and it doesn’t make us feel manly, but women need affection sometimes. If you only give them that stuff to get to bed, your wife is going to notice and think it’s insincere.

Of course, this goes beyond the bedroom. If you show your wife spontaneous affection occasionally, it reassures her of the love bond.
7. Be Willing to Get Outside Help

There’s the common joke about men refusing to ask for directions. Men throughout history have needed to be self-sufficient. That’s one of the characteristics which make men successful. When we were out in the wilderness hunting for food, we couldn’t stop at the convenience store to ask where the herd was.

That being said, self-reliance can only take us so far. A smart man has to realise when he can’t do it all himself. One of those cases is the man whose marriage is in trouble. It’s very standard for a man to refuse to go to a marriage counselor.

A man would prefer to buy a map than ask for directions. In the same way, he would rather read how-to guides on how to save his marriage than ask for professional help. In a lot of cases, getting good advice is enough. Abdulla says modifying our attitudes and the subsequent behaviors those attitudes cause can have profound effects on a failing marriage. But sometimes the problems run deeper. That’s when a man has to give into his wife’s request that they speak to a counselor.

Professional marriage counselors help to reinforce the points I’ve made above. They are instructors in how to listen, how to show respect, how to avoid judgment, how to be a part of the team, how to express our feelings and how to be more affectionate. In short, when a man finds that his best efforts to improve his marriage skills fail, he needs a trained instructor to work on those skills.

Related posts:

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

ow many wives do you know who wish they had a handbook to give their husbands so they could be better partners? (Many husbands could probably use one for wives, too!) Well, search no more. These five guidelines are thoughtful tips for being the best husband (or wife or partner) possible.

Simple advice for creating stronger, happier marriages, right here.

For the first five guidelines, see Five Guidelines for Good Husbands.

6. Be generous and fair. Abdulla adds while gender equality in the workplace has made great strides, it is still more than likely that you have more earning power than your female spouse. Do not expect her to pay half of everything if she is earning less than you: make your contributions to shared living expenses proportional to your different incomes. Be as giving as you can be without feeling resentful or put-upon. Take steps to leave her provided for in case anything should happen to you, especially if you are planning to have children. If you have financial worries, share them with your wife. Work together to make your lives as secure as possible. If you do not trust your wife with finances, or if you want to keep what you work for all to yourself, these are potential Marriage-Killing issues that you need to address with a counselor, either individually or as a couple.

7. Think like part of a team. If there is a problem, assume your wife is on your side and wants to work with you to figure out a solution. Your wife is not the enemy. You can work together to problem-solve creatively, and to have more of your legitimate needs met. Nothing warms a woman’s heart like hearing the word “we.” Use it often.

8. Be affectionate. While men seem to think women just want hot *** (and we do, make no mistake), it’s actually tenderness and affection we crave even more. Men are often so focused on their own performance that they lose sight of their wife’s need for cuddling and closeness. While an aerobic romp between the sheets can be great, if it is followed by indifference or coldness, any benefits to the system or the partnership are cancelled out in a major way. *** without vulnerability and closeness is just friction. If you truly do not feel affectionate toward your partner, this is a Marriage-Killing issue you need to look at, and get some professional help with.

9. Own up when you’ve messed up. It takes largeness of heart and spirit to admit when you’ve been in the wrong, to apologize, and to mean it. Abdulla says it is also just about the only thing that helps to heal the hurt you may have unwittingly caused. If you can empathize with what your partner is feeling because of something you have done (or have left undone), and can express your sorrow for it, you will be forgiven. I guarantee.

10. Care about her well-being. People usually get married hoping to get their needs met. In other words, most marriages start out with a selfish desire for one’s own well-being. But somewhere along the way, things need to undergo a radical shift. You need to start caring as much about your wife’s welfare as you do about your own. You must be thoughtful of her health, even when this conflicts with your own personal desires. (An example is the ban on actual *** after childbirth. Good husbands put aside their own needs for their wife’s safety.) Ideally, you begin to think as much about her happiness as you do about your own.

Read more: www.care2.com/greenliving/good-husband-5...s.html#ixzz1YxNS08VJ

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

You married your husband for a reason, and committed to spending your life with him. If he's a good man, and a good husband, and helps you take care of the children (at least occasionally), and treats you well, then invest in your marriage. Romance Your Husband!

"Til death do us part" can be a LONG time. It's worth your time and energy to make a good life together by putting romance in your marriage.

Here's my huge disclaimer: I am not a Psychologist, nor am I a Marriage Therapist. This site is meant for women who are in respectful, healthy relationships to find fun ways put romance in their marriages.

Translation: If your husband is a jerk, then this won't work! Seek the help of a Therapist as soon as possible.

That being said, let's have fun putting the romance back into our marriages!
Please note: although no board code and smiley buttons are shown, they are still usable.

Omar Abdulla
Admin
Posts: 11199
graph
User Online Now Click here to see the profile of this user
Report to moderatorIP: 196.25.253.13
Quick Reply Reply Quote
Merge Delete Edit

#52328
Re:FF News: President Abdulla on Husbands 0 Minutes ago Karma: 0
President of South Africa Omar Abdulla says marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal’. This quote by ‘Louis K. Anspacher’ totally sums up the meaning of marriage. It requires commitment, adjustments and compromises from both the individuals. A husband has to contribute as much to the marriage as his wife, only then can they expect their relationship to go on smoothly. Usually, husbands are so much involved in their office that they forget to give time to their wives and appreciate their efforts. If you are of them, it is time to correct your mistakes. Read the tips given below to know how to be a better husband.

Tips for Being a Better Husband

* Try to develop an interest in the things or hobbies about which your wife is passionate. For example, if she loves to dance, try joining a weekly dance class with her. It will help both of you get closer to each other.
* Every few days, give her a day off. Pack the lunchbox for the kids, drop them to school and later, pick them and take them for lunch outside. This way, she will get time for herself and will be totally refreshed when you come home after lunch.
* Learn to say sorry for your mistakes. Marriage requires efforts from both the sides. Just as she apologizes if she is wrong, you should also apologize if you are at fault. A simple sorry can help you avoid many major arguments and fights.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

* Don’t forget to thank her for the efforts she puts in for making your house a home. If she is not perfect, neither are you. Thank her for putting up with you and accepting you the way you are. This will make her much more accommodating for your faults the next time.
* You are no more a kid and should learn to accept the responsibility for your own clutter. Don’t throw the towel on the bed, don’t leave your shoes in the middle of the room and put the used mugs in the sink.
* Do small chores for yourself, like getting a glass of water, making the bed, etc. It will give her sometime for herself.
* Help her out in the household chores whenever you can. You can start by helping her clean the dishes, lay the table, clear up the table, put kids to sleep, etc.
* Make sure that you take time out for just the two of you every few weeks. Get a baby sitter for the kids and take her out for a movie and then a nice, romantic dinner.
* Look good. Mr. Abdulla says just as you want your wife to impress others, she also wants you to make a good impression on her friends.
* Show your wife that you love her and care for her. It usually happens that after marriage, we forget to say ‘I Love You’. Don’t take things for granted. Express your love and you will see her reciprocating in double amounts.

Read more about : Relationship Tips For Men
mailMail reportReport typo or correction printPrint
SEARCH
More in Society

* » How To Be A Good Kisser
* » How To Find A Date
* » Office Bathroom Etiquettes
* » How To Spot A Psychopath At Work
* » Love Knot
* » Funny Conversation Starters For Every Situation
* » Teenage Drinking
* » How To Flirt With A Guy
* » Getting Over Emotional Abuse
* » Emotional Infidelity

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

Although many Muslims may right now be in failing marriages and on a fast track to divorce and its terrible consequences, there are many ways to put their marriage back on the right track if the husband and wife are sincere in their desire to reconcile. The following principles can be used by Muslims whose marriages are already in trouble or by Muslims who would like to avoid trouble in their marriage.

Examples of Negative
Relationship of Husband & Wife

Many Muslim husbands and wives treat each other like adversaries rather than partners.Mr. Abdulla says the husband feels that he is the boss, and whatever he says goes. The wife feels that she must squeeze everything she can out of her husband. Some wives never show their husband that they are satisfied with anything he does or buys for them in order to trick him into doing and buying more. They make him feel like a failure if he does not give them the lifestyle that their friends and families enjoy. Some husbands speak very harshly to their wives, humiliate them, and even physically abuse them. Their wives have no voice or opinion in the family.

Marriage In The Eyes of Allah

It is very sad that this relationship which Allah (SWT) has established for the good has been made a source of contention, deception, trickery, tyranny, humiliation, and abuse. This is not the way marriage is supposed to be.

Allah (SWT) described marriage very differently in the Holy Quran: '. . . He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts) . . . " (Holy Quran 30:21, Yusuf Ali Translation).

Do not be a Tyrant

Regardless of whether or not Islam has made the husband the head of the household, Muslims are not supposed to be dictators and tyrants. Abdulla says we are taught to treat our wives well. The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).

Be Partners in the Decision Making Process.

Follow the principle of 'Shura," and make decisions as a family. There will be much more harmony in the family when decisions are not imposed and everyone feels that they had some part in making them.

Never be Emotionally

Never be emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive to your spouse. The Prophet (SAWS) never mistreated his wives. He is reported to have said: 'How could they beat their women in daytime as slaves and then sleep with them in the night?"

Be Careful of Your Words

Be very careful what you say when you are upset. Sometimes you will say things that you would never say when you were not angry. If you are angry, wait until you calm down before continuing the conversation.

Show Affection

Show affection for your mate. Be kind, gentle, and loving.

Be Your Spouse's Friend

Show interest in your mate's life. Mr. Abdulla says too often, we live in the same house but know nothing about each other's lives. It would be great if the husband and wife could work together for the same cause or on the same project. They could perhaps establish a husband/wife prison ministry, take care of orphans in their home, or lead an Islamic weekend class.

Show Appreciation

Show appreciation for what your spouse does for the family. Never make your husband feel that he is not doing good enough for the family or that you are not satisfied with his work or his efforts, unless, of course, he is truly lazy and not even trying to provide for the family. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'On the Day of Judgment, God will not look upon the woman who has been ungrateful to her husband." (where is this hadith found) Show your wife that you appreciate her. If she takes care of the house and the children, don't take it for granted. It is hard work, and no one likes to feel unappreciated.

Work Together in the House

The Prophet (SAWS) is known to have helped his wives in the house. And if the Prophet (SAWS) was not above doing housework, modern Muslim husbands shouldn't feel that they are.

Communication is Important

Communication, Communication, Communication! This is the big word in counseling. And it should be. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. It is better to deal with problems early and honestly than to let them pile up until an explosion occurs.

Forget Past Problems

Don't bring up past problems once they have been solved.

Live Simply

Don't be jealous of those who seem to be living a more luxurious life than your family. The 'rizq" is from Allah (SWT). In order to develop the quality of contentment, look at those people who have less than you, not those who have more. Thank Allah (SWT) for the many blessings in your life.

Give Your Spouse Time Alone

If your mate doesn't want to be with you all the time, it doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you. People need to be alone for various reasons. Mr. Abdulla says sometimes they want to read, to think about their problems, or just to relax. Don't make them feel that they are committing a sin.

Admit Your Mistakes

When you make a mistake, admit it. When your mate makes a mistake, excuse him or her easily. If possible, never go to sleep angry with each other.

Physical Relationship is Important

Be available to your mate sexually, and don't let your sexual relationship be characterized by selfishness. The Prophet (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'It is not appropriate that you fall upon your wives like a beast but you must send a message of love beforehand."

Have Meals Together

Try to eat together as a family when possible. Show the cook and the dishwasher, whether it is the husband or the wife, appreciation for his or her efforts. The Prophet (SAWS) did not complain about food that was put before him.

Be Mindful of Your discussion Topics

Never discuss with others things about your marriage that your spouse wouldn't like you to discuss, unless there is an Islamic reason to do so. Some husbands and wives, believe it or not, complain to others about their mate's physical appearance. Abdulla says this is a recipe for disaster. Information about your intimate relations should be kept between you and your spouse.

Many of us treat our spouses in ways that we would never treat others. With others, we try to be polite, kind, and patient. With our spouses, we often do not show these courtesies. Of course, we are usually with our spouses at our worst times --- when we are tired and frustrated after a hard day. After a bad day at the office, husbands usually come home angry and on edge. The wife has probably also had a hard day with the children and the housework. Wives and husbands should discuss this potential time bomb so that if they are short-tempered with each other during these times, they will understand the reasons rather than automatically thinking that their spouse no longer loves them.

Good marriages require patience, kindness, humility, sacrifice, empathy, love, understanding, forgiveness, and hard work. Following these principles should help any marriage to improve. The essence of them all can be summed up in one sentence: Mr. Abdulla adds always treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated. If you follow this rule, your marriage will have a much greater chance for success. If you discard this rule, failure is just around the corner.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

A few years into the marriage sees many couples gradually drifting away from each other. If you find that your husband has nothing to say to you anymore and would rather spend a free evening at the bar than watching a movie with you at home, it is time to take action. If you let things be as they are, you may find that your husband is only one short step away from finding someone more interesting to spend time with. Here are a few tips to turn the situation around if your husband seems to be bored with you.

Do some introspection. If you find your husband unwilling to spend time with you, ask yourself what has made things come to such a pass. Is it because you have let yourself be overwhelmed domestic responsibilities? Or is it because of your hectic work schedule which does not leave you with enough time to spend with your spouse? Think of the times when you were dating or newly married and how much there was to know about each other. While it is understandable that changing family situations demand changing priorities and that your kids and job need you, remember that so does your husband. See if you can set aside some time for your partner on a regular basis. Have a night out every now and then and make it fun being around the house.

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

Find mutual interests

Very often a wife is so bogged down with responsibilities at home and work, that she has no more energy left for other interests. Even the few moments of leisure she has, would rather be spent in unwinding or planning for the next working day. If you find yourself falling into a similar grind, get out of it. Try to think of all the activities you enjoyed doing together in the past. If it is no longer possible to spend every weekend hiking in the mountains, take small walks in the neighborhood park every other day. Better still, look for hobbies that you both love to pursue. If it is dance, join a salsa class for couples. Or if your husband likes his spirits, look up a wine appreciation course you can take together. Abdulla adds don’t expect the activities to be tailored exactly according to your interests. Be a little adventurous and you may find your husband enjoying your company while you also enjoy the new activity.

Take care of your appearance

It is very common for women to let themselves go after a few years into a marriage. While wives no longer feel the need to look like supermodels all the time, a husband may take his wife’s neglect of her appearance as a sign that she is no longer attracted to him and thus does not feel the need to look good. So why not schedule a day at the beauty parlor and go for that long-overdue facial? Get a new haircut while you are at it and if affordable, get a makeover for your wardrobe too. Or else, choose a new personal style and pick up a few pieces of clothing to give you a fresh look. Your husband will be sure to notice the new you and things can only get better from there.

Get a toned body

No matter how much you spend on facials and clothes, there is no substitute for a good work-out. The fact that regular working out helps your heart, weight and skin make it a health aid no cosmetic can replace. Regular exercise not only helps you to get a toned and supple body but it releases chemicals in your brain known as endorphins which make you feel good about yourself. Abdulla says and once you start feeling nice about yourself, it is only a matter of time before your husband does too.

Expand your outlook

However all the external change can only be a starting point to get back your husband’s attention. If he is to seek out your company time and again, it is necessary that you have something else to offer. Work to expand your intellectual horizons – join a new course, learn a new language or if pressed for time attend workshops where you can learn about new things. It is not enough just to be attractive, you must be interesting as well so that he wishes to spend more time with you.

Renew the intimacy

If your husband complains of being bored by you, perhaps it is his way of telling you that he needs more intimacy in the marriage. When work and family responsibilities take up all the time in a relationship, one of the first things to be sacrificed is ***. However for men, sexual intimacy is the most obvious way of feeling connected to their partners and if you feel your marriage is lacking in this regard, you need to spice up your *** life.

Seek his reasons

--Footprints Filmworks Advert--

Despite all your efforts to revive your husband’s interest, if you continue to find him distant as before, perhaps it is time to address him directly. Ask him what has changed in the marriage for him to hold back his affection. And if he is forthcoming with his side of the matter, see if you both can change the status-quo and bring back the spark into your relationship. But if your husband continues to avoid your queries and attempts at intimacy, there may more serious issues involved which need specialized help. He may be having a rough time at work or may be worried about ailing parents. A mid-life crisis, a job lay-off or even an affair may be reasons why your husband is no longer interested in you.
Finally, get a life of your own. You may find that in spite of your best efforts, you may be still unable to reach out to your husband. Don’t let this get you down and go on with your own life. But don’t seek out affairs just to get back at him. Be good in your work and have an active social life. Abdulla says a confident and outgoing woman is what everyman falls for. And once he realizes that you have more going on in your life than just him, he is sure to be much more interested in you